They say that absence makes heart grow fonder, but how much absence can the heart take before it turns into out of sight and out of mind?
Often times, when people say that they are in long distance relationships, they are met with jibes of sympathy and the message that the relationship is bound to fail. However, in one relationship study, it was found that one of the benefits of long-distance relationships is more intimacy.
Another relationship study that was conducted by Cornell University found that relationships while studying abroad are often healthier than traditional relationships. It has to be mentioned that advanced steps in the research process had to be applied to obtain reliable results.
The question that remains is whether relationships while studying abroad really works.
Let’s be realistic about this
There has to be a reason why people frown upon a long-distance relationship. In the past, it might have been something that was considered to be out of the norm. Yet, today it seems like more and more people are giving study abroad long distance relationships a go.
We now live in the global village and for many people, travel is non-negotiable, be it for work or studies. Being in a relationship while studying abroad is probably not ideal. Not only do you have to keep your emotions and thoughts in check, but you also have to focus on your studies as well.
In some cases, when you are high on emotions and not able to focus on your college writing projects like dissertation or research papers, you will need help. Using a thesis generator service, could ease some of the academic burden, but sooner or later, something is going to give.
A study abroad long distance relationship is especially hard, seeing that communication is the most important part of the relationship and you need bigger blocks of time to make it meaningful.
The biggest challenge regarding relationships while studying abroad is time management. Depending on how far away you are from your significant other, you might need to manage your time across time zones, never mind states or borders.
However, the one thing that people in these relationships do well is to prioritize communication. It is after all the one thing that will keep the relationship going.
The other difference that long distance relationships has over traditional relationships is that communication won’t necessarily happen every day. It has to be scheduled and a set time needs to be devoted to communication without other distractions.
Traditional relationships allow for a certain amount of leeway in terms of distraction, seeing that focused communication doesn’t necessarily have to be planned in advance.
There is room for spontaneity, but there is also the danger of being too distracted and letting communication break down altogether. However, spontaneity also has its place in long distance relationships.
Going for a visit
Anyone who has ever been in a long-distance relationship will tell you how special that unexpected visit was. That is of course when none of the parties were second-guessing the motives or loyalty.
Guys are more prone to doubtful behavior though. Their insecurities about themselves often project onto their significant others when the girlfriend study abroad. They are more prone to have thoughts of infidelity and might make an unannounced visit to check up on their girlfriends, rather than just surprise them.
But seriously guys, when your girlfriend studies abroad, the chances are very slim that she is out and about looking for another guy. Women are generally more academically focused than guys and won’t necessarily stray unless you give them a reason to.
Nevertheless, when a visit is sincere, it is always met with loads of passion and the couples enjoy more intimate moments than people who are in traditional relationships. For the rest of the time that they don’t see each other, they need plenty of patience.
A different kind of patience
When one looks at people who are in lasting long-distance relationships, there is a common trait that they all share and that is an unnatural level of patience. These are people who are not afraid to wait for the good stuff.
In fact, being far apart from their partners is often good for them, seeing that they need the space and time to determine what they want in their relationships. They are not rushed into something that will blow up and cause them ages of heartache.
When they know that they have found someone special, they also know that the distance is only temporary and the wait is eventually worth it. In the end, they are less likely to take their partners for granted when they are geographically reunited because they know what they have.
The perks of the distance
Many people think that when you are in a long-distance relationship, that you are forever bogged down and confined to the solitude of your residence. However, that could not be farther from the truth. People in these relationships often have great social lives, but their motives differ though.
On the one side of the spectrum, you have the ones who need to get out because of their feelings of loneliness. They need people around them to make them feel less alone and distract them from the longing they constantly feel.
On the other side, you have the ones who just enjoy their freedom. They are always aware of the fact that they are in relationships, but not being around their partners the whole time, enables them to do things that they would otherwise never be able to do.
For them, the freedom that they have within their relationship is something that cannot be compared to traditional relationships. However, this is often a one-sided feeling of freedom.
When jealousy rears its head
Apart from a lack of communication, jealousy is the biggest long-distance relationship killer. One party will see that the other is having a seemingly amazing time and will become jealous. When they do have conversations, it often becomes a pity party.
The jealousy starts to grow and before you know it, the only thing they seem to do is fight. In a way, it is understandable, but in any relationship, there has to be trust and becoming jealous does not send signals of trust.
Long distance relationships are here to stay and if things go on the way are going now, they will only become more common. Although these relationships are generally more difficult than traditional relationships, they are also often better than the norm.
The distance creates an inexplicable intimacy and deeper connection due to the communication that is often deeper and more profound. With video calling becoming more popular, the success rates of long-distance relationships also become more significant. The face time that these couples get reveal so much more because the communication is focused and concentrated.
Michael Turner is a marriage and relationships counselor helping couples unite and understand the importance of being together in turbulent times. He shares his ideas through his research-based articles and blogs. When he’s not at his center, he loves to play indoor games with his two sons and go out cycling with them. He can be reached via his Twitter account.