Jerry Brook is a Relationship Guru and Author of Good Together: Jerry created an amazing, unique app, The Good Together App. There is a paradox to relationships. There is the stress of, finding, building, and maintaining relationships. However, there is the greater stress of either unhealthy relationships or the lack of relationships. The Good Together App is a game with a purpose, and that purpose is creating meaningful connections.
I recently interviewed Jerry to learn more about his journey with developing the GoodTogether app and further explain how the app helps people improve their relationships through fun and personalized interactions.
Posh Lifestyle & Beauty Blog: What inspired you to create the GoodTogether app? Were there any specific experiences or challenges that led you to develop this platform?
Jerry Brook: “Specific experiences or challenges …,” you bet. I believe that most things are born from personal experience. For me it was a lot of heartache. I had gone through, yet another failed relationship. It was at that point that I had had enough. I threw in the towel and called it quits. I just didn’t know how to go about relationships. I decided to focus all of my energy on work instead because at least that was something that I knew how to do.
At the time I was researching Artificial Intelligence. What is it,? How does it work? Then I had my “Ah Ha” moment. Intelligence is seen as making “good” decisions, and “good” decisions require “good” information. That was it! I wasn’t making “good” relationship decisions because I didn’t have “good” relationship information.
I examined the advice that I had been given, and that I had taken for granted. Distributed by friends, family, romantic comedies, and the many self-help books that I had read. What they all had in common was “Conventional Wis-dumb.”
First, if “Conventional Wis-dumb” were correct we would all have happy relationships by now. Second, if we and our relationships, are at all unique, then they are not “Conventional.” What is “good” for you and your relationships has no bearing on me and my relationships. We aren’t the same. We don’t have the same socioeconomic backgrounds, and we don’t want the same things out of life.
And so began my journey into GoodTogether.
Posh Lifestyle & Beauty Blog: Can you share the journey of conceptualizing and developing the GoodTogether app? What were the key milestones and challenges along the way?
Jerry Brook: I needed to figure out which questions to ask. Not all questions are created the same. If we aren’t asking the correct questions, the answers that we will get won’t be helpful. As it turns out, the meaningful questions happen to be the difficult questions.
With the difficult questions comes the uncomfortable answers. These are the answers that make us face our short comings and our fears. It’s not just what I want or need out of a relationship, but what do I expect out of a relationship? And scarier still, what do others expect of me in our relationship? Neither of us can expect the moon, if neither of us has the moon to give.
I attempted to capture all that I was learning about myself and what I had done wrong and what I could have done better. I took to writing down all of the tidbits of information as notes, and reminders to myself. That would become my book, “Good Together, A Journey Through Relationships.”
I realized that I myself had fallen victim of too much advice and not enough practical assistance. There were too many self-help books to read and too much useless advice from well-meaning friends and family, but there were not enough helping hands.
People need actionable aids. They need tools that they can put to use directly. Anyone can tell you what to do, “do as I say, not as I do,” but few can take you by the hand and give guidance.
I needed to devise a device that:
could actually help people to connect with one another,
could guide people on how to connect with each other,
and would actively encourage the process of connecting with one another.
Posh Lifestyle & Beauty Blog: How does the GoodTogether app differentiate itself from other relationship-focused apps in the market?
Jerry Brook: A major difference between the GoodTogether Game and other apps is that it is lighthearted. It is meant to be fun. Relationships are intended to be enjoyed. In my book I dismantle the misconception that “relationships are hard work.” Relationships aren’t work, effort yes, work no. Work is what other people want from you. Effort is what you are willing to give. If your relationships are “hard” you’re doing them wrong. Even in the case of work, if you find it to be “hard” I would advise that you find another job. The same holds true for relationships if they are “hard” find another one. No, I am not at all implying the opposite extreme, that relationships are, or should be, easy. Again, relationships require “effort.” This is a common case of “conventional wis-dumb,” using incorrect words to describe a situation, which then leads to misunderstandings and confusion.
Another major differentiator between The GoodTogether Game and other apps is the customizability. I don’t pretend to know you or your relationship goals. I designed the app to be personalize-able. You the user have the ability to create your own meaningful social circles, as well as generating your own personal interaction lists. Who better to have a say in your relationships than you and your partners.
The app actually teaches good communication, and therefore good connection skills.
Posh Lifestyle & Beauty Blog: What features or aspects of the GoodTogether app do you believe have the most significant impact on helping couples strengthen their relationships?
Jerry Brook: The key to healthy relationships is sharing and inclusion.
Sharing and inclusion stem from knowledge. We can’t learn what isn’t being taught, and we can’t act on that which we haven’t learned.
The more that we know about our relationship partners, and the more that they know about us, the stronger our relationships can be. The funny aspect of this knowledge is that the more that we share with others, the more it is that we truly end up learning about ourselves.
Choosing who to include is consequential. What we share with them and how we share it is crucial.
The app helps people to explore the topics that are significant to the users, in a relaxed and fun way. By providing a way for people to express their expectations, their limits and their boundaries, as well as their vulnerabilities, without fear of judgement or retribution, the app fosters deep and meaningful connections.
The most valuable asset that we have is our time. We'll never get more of it than we have. Therefore, spending quality time with others is the most expensive gift that we can give to them.
Posh Lifestyle & Beauty Blog: Could you share any success stories or testimonials from couples who have used the app to improve their relationships?
Jerry Brook: You’ll notice that each of these stories describes a different trait that the app elicited from the users:
Jennifer used the app to connect with her sister. She learned something new and special about someone who she thought that she had known most everything about. Their participation taught them that there is always more that we can learn about the people that we think we know.
Jadyn used the app to connect with her boyfriend’s sister. They shared embarrassing moments from their lives, which allowed them to quicky get to know one another and create a comfortable space between them. Their learning experience enhanced their communication skills.
One common response that I get is that people are surprised as to how these short, bite sized, interactions can be so meaningful and have such a great impact on their relationships.
Posh Lifestyle & Beauty Blog: In what ways does the GoodTogether app leverage technology to support and enhance the connection between partners?
Jerry Brook: As a person who works in and with technology this was a focal point of mine.
Relationships have become little more than a technical search, void of any personal or emotional aspects. The thought is that if you act in a certain predefined manner, you will achieve the predetermined result. One might describe this as robotic.
Technology has reduced relationships to a task driven event. The relationship value has morphed from one of pleasure and desire into little more than a perfunctory chore. What was once fun has become work.
It is as if we believe that technology can save us from our unsocial selves. I don’t have to be involved in my relationships. Technology will handle everything for me.
It is my firm belief that technology is nothing more than a tool. And just as with any other tool can be used for both good and bad purposes. In the hands of a sculpture, a hammer and chisel create art. In the hands of someone like me, inexperienced and untalented, we end up with what amounts to broken rocks.
The app was designed to use technology, not to be technological. We use technology. We choose relationships. Relationships have existed since the beginning of mankind. They predate even the most rudimentary of technology. Before there was fire and the wheel there were relationships.
Posh Lifestyle & Beauty Blog: How do you envision the GoodTogether app evolving in the future to continue meeting the needs of couples in today's digital age?
Jerry Brook: One of my goals for the app is to build communities. My hope is that people will share their lists of interactions, so that others can use them as a source of inspiration in building their own connections.
Add to that shared experiences of the users:
Funny stories of interactions.
Lessons of good and healthy communications.
Remedies for healing from isolation and despair.
Posh Lifestyle & Beauty Blog: What kind of feedback have you received from users, and how has it influenced the ongoing development and improvements of the app?
Jerry Brook: The feedback that I have received has been mostly, but not all, positive. Feedback is necessary for learning, and learning is necessary for progress. Even the negative feedback can be helpful.
Some of the proposals that I have received have been geared towards prompting broader interactions with a more diverse group. I appreciate the suggestions for improvements and additions that people offer. It indicates that they are interested in using the app, and that they see the app as a useful tool.
Only when people care are they willing to invest their time and effort to propose enhancements that I can implement. They are helping me to help them, and others.
Posh Lifestyle & Beauty Blog: Can you provide insights into the research or psychological principles that informed the design and functionality of the GoodTogether app to benefit couples?
Jerry Brook: “Predictably spontaneous.” I know that that seems contradictory, but people are multifaceted. We are capable of wearing many hats, just not all at once.
People need stability, but at the same time we need occasional excitement. There are many studies which delve into the importance of each of these individually. I have stitched these two outwardly opposite elements together in order to create a more comprehensive representation of what it that motivates people.
In addition, there is the element of feedback. Without correct and meaningful feedback, we cannot learn, and without learning we cannot develop and improve.Every aspect of the app is designed with a myriad of sociological and psychological principles in mind. I have drawn on decades of diverse research and carefully coalesced them into a single simple package for the user to benefit from.
Posh Lifestyle & Beauty Blog: Finally, what advice would you give to other entrepreneurs or developers looking to create technology-driven solutions for enhancing relationships and communication within couples?
Jerry Brook: The factor that I would stress is that technology is nothing more than a method of delivery. Novelists don’t think about books or pages, Song Writers don’t think about records, cassette tapes, CDs, or MP3 players. Videographers don’t think about film, DVDs, or streaming. What they all think about is their art, their consumers, and the goals of their audience. Technology will change, it always does. People, their relationships, and the purpose of and need for communication, is the same today as it has been since the dawn of humanity.
Focus on how it is that you intend to achieve your objective. In this case, how will you go about enhancing relationships? That can then be implemented on any technology.
