When you first meet someone and sense that there might be a spark between the two of you, you might feel the need to restart a conversation by sending a meaningful text message. However, you worry that you won't hear back right away or that you'll end up feeling vulnerable, uneasy, and exposed.
Or, if they do text back, their response doesn't meet your standards. Do you now feel exposed and deflated? It's simple to become trapped in wondering why they haven't replied or what their short response means if you had expectations that you would receive a meaningful answer right away.
Whether on purpose or not, you experience rejection in these circumstances. It's all too simple to make up a complete tale about why someone hasn't responded to your text or why their message didn't meet your expectations if you don't know them well in real life.
Do: Have engaging discussion starters
You can't expect the opposite party to be interested in a conversation with you if you send bland messages. Conversation starters such as "Hello" and "How's it going?" are a simple way to make your potential date uninterested in keeping a conversation going with you. You need to think of innovative ways to make them interested in you.
Being funny or showing interest in their life is a great way to start a conversation. Since bland conversation starters don't work, you need to adapt to what you would find interesting enough to respond to. You need to show that you have an interesting personality and that you're interested in them.
If you can't think of a witty conversation starter while online dating, then you should turn to apps and software that help you create AI opening lines for Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. The following actions involve laying the groundwork and focusing on the main aspect of online dating. The fundamental objective of your opening remark should be to create a simple, yet meaningful discourse that won’t bore the other person.
Do: Ensure that your response time is balanced
Although the response time is rather arbitrary, it should be adequate to maintain your attention and inspire replies, but not so much that you become online friends. Some people are better than others at keeping a dialogue flowing on dating websites, but if you're running out of things to say, the discussion will finish and the match will vanish.
Although you shouldn't always reply immediately away, you should be mindful that when a person contacts you, they are saying they are open to a conversation for a while.
Your initial response should be timely enough to take into account their schedule, but not always—doing so will make you come out as being overly eager.
Don't: Wait for their response obsessively
Don't get preoccupied with how long it takes them to reply. When you text someone you're interested in, they are not obligated to react to your schedule. Yes, it's likely that early on in a relationship, messaging you back is not their first priority. It's also challenging to keep in mind all the various reasons for a late response while reading someone else's intentions via your own bias.
If you don't get a text back soon, the other person may not have received it or their phone may have been off, misplaced, or broken. People experience issues at work or are ill. It's advisable to avoid attempting to interpret meaning depending on texting response time because you can't know why a reply is delayed and doing so will simply lead to unwarranted worry and rumination.
Don't: Overshare
Avoid texting too many personal details too quickly, especially not regarding relationships that you are in or have had in the past. They might not feel the same way as you do simply because you would like to receive personal information from them that was not requested. Keep in mind that there is a lot of potential for misunderstanding, confusion, or getting into a TMI trap when dealing with a new person.
This is because you do not know their limits, their comfort level with sharing thoughts or feelings yet, especially through text, and they do not know yours. Additionally, discussing specifics of your past, present, or upcoming relationships, or overall oversharing is simply too intricate and detailed to do via text. The serious stuff should be saved for real life.
Final thoughts
It feels like a huge accomplishment when you match with someone online, and it is. However, it's only the beginning. Once you're matched, you must decide what to text them about, when to text them, and how frequently. No pressure, but given that texting is more frequent than face-to-face communication right now, your entire love life here could depend on the success of your first few texts.
