Sex is only great when it’s safe, yet it is ironically easy to forget about being safe when in the moment; suddenly, a condom doesn’t seem that necessary, or unprotected sex seems okay after a night of drinking, and you might just fall asleep after an evening of sexual activity.

Sex taps into our animalistic side, so it’s often very difficult to be practical when it counts. And most of the ways to have safe sex are not difficult or complicated. Get clued up on how to make your sex life safer and never have the morning-after panic again. Let’s make safe sex practices cool again!

Contraception

We are so fortunate to live in a world where contraception or birth control is an option. And there are so many types that you are bound to find an option that works for you! Unfortunately, the only option at the moment for men is condoms, and there is a whole debate as to why more hasn’t been done for male contraception; this is a very complicated situation that requires more words than I can afford to write in this article. So give it a google if you’re interested. In the meantime, let’s talk about some of the most popular contraception methods for people with wombs and vaginas. All of the below information is from bedsider.org:

• The pill: First introduced in the 1960s, the pill has been around for a long time. Although there are different types of the pill, the basic premise of it is to stop you from ovulating, so you don’t release an egg. It also thickens the mucus in the neck of the uterus to prevent sperm from penetrating it. And there’s a reason that the pill has been around for so long: it works. It has a 99.7% efficacy rate with perfect use! The downside is that you have to take a pill every single day. And if you go out drinking, be prepared to still use a condom because alcohol can really affect the functionality of the pill. And what about antibiotics? Surprisingly many prescription drugs can affect sexual function, and that also has been proven to affect hormonal birth control is rifampin., used to treat tuberculosis and meningitis. So if you’re put on antibiotics, it’s worth asking if your treatment will affect your birth control, but the likelihood is …probably not!

• IUDs: Now I’m biased because I have an IUD, and I fricking love it! And there is a reason why so many other women swear by their IUDs. They have a 99.4 - 99.9% efficacy rate with perfect use. The IUD is also one of the only birth control options which provide a non-hormonal option (enter: the copper IUD). And in my opinion, one of the best things about them is that you don’t have to think about it every day; you simply get the tiny plastic device inserted into your uterus, and you’re good to go for a few years, depending on the type you have. And getting it inserted can be done in a regular doctor’s visit. Easy!

• Implant: The implant is also a very effective form of contraception as it has a 99.9% efficacy rate both for perfect and typical use! It involves a tiny rod, which releases progestin, being inserted into your upper arm during a normal doctor’s office visit. Once it’s in, it’s in, and you can carry on with your life for the next few years without worrying about taking a pill every day.

• The birth control shot: The birth control shot is an injection containing progestin that you get every three months. It has a 99.8% efficacy rate with perfect use, and you only have to think about birth control four times a year. What’s not to love? If you don’t like the idea of having something ‘inside’ you, this is a great option.

• The ‘not right now’ method: This one is for those of you who have willpower. It basically involves abstaining from vaginal sex but doing other sexual acts instead. Using this method, you won’t necessarily be protected from STIs, but it’s a sure-fire way to prevent pregnancy.

Of course, there are many other forms of birth control, but the above-mentioned options are some of the most effective/common. Finding the right contraceptive can be a real pain for most women, and you really do go on a journey when it comes to finding the right solution for you for your current circumstances. I say this because, depending on what you have going on in your life, you might change your mind throughout your birth control journey. Our advice? Make an appointment with your family doctor or your gynecologist to discuss which option is best for you.

Please note that the only contraceptive that prevents STIs is condoms. So if you’re unsure of your partner’s STI status, always use a condom.

Consent

When we talk about safe sex, it’s important to talk about consent. With so much porn focusing on rough sex these days, it’s easy to forget the importance of consent. What you don’t see in these rough sex porn videos is that the porn actress has agreed to the sexual acts before shooting. Whenever you engage in sexual activity with someone, you should always ask for their consent. And this also goes for switching up what you’re doing in bed. Just because someone consents to vaginal sex doesn’t mean they consent to you ejaculating on their face. Always ask. And if you have a niggling doubt in your head as to whether your partner will like what you want to do to them, just ask. Asking is sexy, trust me.

Pee after sex!

I cannot emphasize this one enough. I have spent many nights on the toilet trying to force burning pee out of my bladder, so believe me, go pee! I know how it is: you’ve had some amazing sex, and now you’re tired in bed, and you could just close your eyes … don’t! Get that butt out of that bed and to the toilet to flush out all of the bacteria that may have been transferred to your body during sex. If you don’t do this straight away, there is a chance that the bacteria could sit in your urethra and travel a short distance to your bladder and cause a raging UTI infection. It’s horrendous, don’t do it to yourself. Women are particularly prone to UTI infections after sex due to their urethra being shorter. Men can still get a UTI, but it’s less common than women. And generally, men feel the need to pee after sex anyway. So men, word of caution, let your girl pee first.

Wash your sex toys and store them in a clean place

If you use sex toys, which I highly suggest, always remember to wash your toys with soap and water or sex toy cleaner and allow them to dry on a clean surface. You don’t want to use your vibrator to find last night’s sticky residue still on there. Ew. Hello, bacteria!

Never share your sex toys

If you use your sex toy on or inside your genitals, never share your toy with anyone else. If you do, you might risk spreading an unwanted STI. Even if you clean your toy thoroughly, there still might be traces of bacteria on your toy that just won’t go away. Keep your toys to yourself.

Have a safe word

If you like to engage in BDSM or rough sex, it’s crucial to have a safe word – a word you use when you want all sexual proceedings to stop. If you do not have a safe word, it’s harder to communicate to your partner that you want to stop, and it could cause physical or psychological harm. And if someone uses their safe word, listen! It’s there for a reason.

Final words:

Safe sex means creating an environment where all parties involved feel happy to engage in sexual activity. If you have your doubts, don’t do it. Simple as that. Also, get tested! Never assume that you’re ‘probably’ fine. That ain’t gonna fly with your date when you want to get frisky with them. Wanna know what’s sexy? This: Here is my full bill of sexual health. 

Getting tested for STIs can be scary, but isn’t it better to know than live in ignorance? If you’re having sex, you’re mature enough to get yourself tested at least twice a year if you’re having casual sex. Period.

And if you do test positive for an STI, it is not the end of the world. There are a lot of treatment options for most STIs, even if you happen to catch one that isn’t entirely curable.

Be safe. Be sexy.