Intimacy is the base long-lasting relationships are built upon. It can take a lot of time to nurture an intimate relationship, and it requires much more effort to sustain it. And although intimacy isn’t a synonym for sex, the latter is, for many couples, an inseparable part of being together, marriages included.

It’s normal and even natural for long-term relationships to become less passionate over time for many reasons – for instance, familiarity and predictability of sexual interactions, unsolved conflicts, or a banal lack of initiative. Having a baby is another factor on the list, but this change in a couple’s life requires more attention.

Sexually reconnecting with your partner after giving birth can be challenging for a number of reasons as well. You may feel insecure about changes in your body, or you might still be in your postpartum period, resulting in discomfort and even pain during intercourse. It can also be your libido hitting a rock-bottom low following the birth of a baby, as well as the constant lack of sleep.

Whichever your case, one essential thing is to be patient with yourself, not force it, and remember that these changes aren’t irreversible. If you’re looking for advice on reconnecting with your partner, here is what you should try:

First, Get Comfortable with Your Body Again

It’s perfectly understandable if you feel self-conscious about how your body has changed after pregnancy and childbirth or if you even feel disconnected from your physical body. However, getting confident with your new shape is crucial for becoming comfortable around your partner again.

Acceptance is a great place to start. Instead of nitpicking your flaws, try to appreciate the changes that have taken place and focus on what you like about your body.

Another way to become more emotionally and physically connected to your body is to practice physical activities – yoga, pilates, stretching, long walks in nature, or even dancing are all great options. They will not only help you feel better in your skin but will also positively affect your overall well-being and boost your sex drive.

And, of course, there is no better way to re-sensitize to your body than masturbation. Returning to your solo sessions can help you remember what kinds of stimulation you enjoy, discover new points of pleasure, and redefine ways of bringing yourself to climax. You can start manually and, as you become more comfortable, diversify the experience with whatever you deem most intriguing – the options vary from nipple balms and rabbit vibrators to lifesize sexdolls.

Talk Openly About How You Feel

Open communication is essential for any relationship, especially when it comes to intimacy. You and your partner should be able to discuss your feelings without any judgment or criticism. Talk about what works for both of you, what doesn’t, and how each of you can contribute to the experience.

Moreover, you should also talk about your postpartum period in general. How are you feeling? Are you still struggling with any issues? How is your partner contributing to your recovery? 

These conversations will create a safe space for discussing other topics that are difficult to talk about.

Besides communication, it’s crucial to find out what kind of physical and emotional support you expect from your partner. While it might seem silly, voicing your needs and concerns is usually the only way to let each other know how to make it better. Try talking about cuddling or simply going out together and see how it benefits both of you.

Start Slowly

The key here is not to rush, so you can start with simple but meaningful forms of touch that don’t involve sex. For starters, you need to become more conscious of physical contact – make time for intimate moments such as cuddling, kissing, giving each other a massage, or just holding hands. These activities will help build a foundation for further sexual exploration.

When you both feel ready, you can move on to more sensual activities like bathing, showering together, or exploring each other’s bodies, aka mutual masturbation – but without expecting an orgasm. Besides, it’s not rare that the very fact of restricting yourselves from going further is precisely what makes it steamier. So, focus on pleasure without performance, and ensure you maintain eye contact as much as possible.

You can also try sex toys for solo or mutual pleasure. For instance, a discreet clitoral stimulator can be a great way to facilitate the experience and make it more enjoyable for both of you. Moreover, using lubricants and other items to enhance pleasure is entirely normal and even recommended during postpartum sex to minimize discomfort.

You can further explore the realm of pleasure by incorporating innovative tools like a discreet clitoral stimulator. Wondering what is a clit sucker? It's a device designed to provide targeted suction and stimulation to the clitoris, potentially enhancing pleasure and intimacy for both partners during solo or mutual experiences.

Conclusion

Having a baby is a life-changing event that often affects the couple’s intimacy. To re-establish the sexual connection between you and your partner, it’s essential to take things slow, focus on your physical and emotional comfort first, communicate openly, and explore different ways of being intimate. 

With some patience and understanding, it won’t be long before you’re rediscovering the joys of sex after having a baby.